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Epic Knee: A Tall Tale

Posted by on June 9, 2012

It all began on a bright, sunny afternoon when Matt, Jeremy, and Lindsay went mountain biking on Upper Trail that connects to Upper Upper Loop or Tony’s Trail.  Matt, Jeremy, and Lindsay were flying up the trail, kicking its’ arse, and hootin’ & hollerin’ because they loved to hear their echos bouncing off the nearby mountains.  As they sped around a switchback, their back tires kissing the edge of a 100 foot drop off, a massive brown bear leapt out from behind a not so massive boulder and mooned them. 

Matt, Lindsay, and Jeremy piled into each other as they gawked at the furry rump shaking in front of them. Matt was the first to recover and with the bear lumbering at an impressive speed, he took up chase.  Lindsay and Jeremy had dissolved into a heap of laughing limbs and bikes, eventually recovering and untangling enough to snap a few pictures.






The bear was leading Matt on a merry chase around trees, under bushes, up the hillside, and back down the other side, giggling and skipping the whole way.  Matt pursued the clownish bear — moving super fast, launching off of rocks and working his amazing turn-on-a-dime skills (the bear, not Matt) — when suddenly it all came to a violent and tragic end.  The bear swerved to miss something in the trail but it was too late for Matt!  He couldn’t avoid…


…the honey badger chewing on a snake.

Matt slammed on his brakes taking a header over the bike, over the bear, and over the honey badger who was chewing on a snake.  The bike spat Matt end over end into a nasty looking tree where he hung, upside down, partially wrapped around the tree.  Anyone who happened by might think he was just giving the tree a hug, an upside down hug but, nevertheless, a hug.  He generally loves nature and works to lessen his impact and teach others to leave no trace but he rarely expresses this by hugging trees.  Unfortunately, for Matt, this tree wasn’t a tree that enjoyed hugs, it was a big, ugly tree bitter from years of woodpecker abuse. The angry tree waved Matt around and for the honey badger it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.  The honey badger bit Matt on the nose and then ambled off because the honey badger don’t care.

By this time Lindsay and Jeremy had arrived on the scene, timing it just right to watch the brown bear steal Matt’s mountain bike.

That is the tall tale of how Matt tore the meniscus in his knee.  The doctors all agree that they will have to lop of his leg because the honey badger’s don’t care attitude is affecting his ability to heal.

If you’ve ever been to the land of rocky mountains, snow in July, and buttes that have crested you’ll understand that they do things a little differently.  The hospital provides laughing cats as an alternative for traditional anesthesia and Matt, being the cat whisperer that he is, opted for this pain management system instead of drugs.


True Story

Matt had a minor crash because of a rock garden that caused him to gently bonk into a sapling.  While he hugged the sapling he tried to put a foot down to prevent a bigger crash.  The motion of kicking his foot out of the pedals (he was clipped in) is what caused the wrenching of his knee, tearing the meniscus.  The doctor thinks he might have already had a small tear from earlier in his life and this just made it bigger.  He will need surgery but we are hoping for a simple surgery and quick recovery so he can get back to playing!  You can watch his progress on the trail via his Garmin tracking gadget and at 17:22 you’ll notice a slight pause. 🙂



We’ll keep y’all updated with more Tall Tales!

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